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STRESS AND MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN: LOSS OF MUTUAL RESPECT AS A RESULT OF CHANGED ATTITUDES AND IDEAS

Although marriages are made between people who have significant differences in personality, and I believe this to be part of God's overall design, it is essential that there be common ground and common interests.

A love relationship can be seen as a plant with a life of its own; the good soil it needs is the soil of common goals and ideas. A marriage cannot survive easily between people with greatly differing cultural values and concepts. We need a fair amount of things in common, although, as I said before, we tend to be attracted to people who have qualities we ourselves lack in our personalities.

One of the effects of stage three breakdown is that a person is no longer capable of holding strong views on any subject, views which would require that person to use psychic energy to negate an opposing view. A person in third stage breakdown is more easily talked out of holding political views contrary to his own; thus, brainwashing techniques usually require the breaking down of the person emotionally until he is experiencing stage three symptoms.

Likewise, religious and racial intolerance is likely to be unable to be sustained by a person in stage three stress breakdown. Some people have even regarded their coming through a stress breakdown and experiencing their own inability to hold strongly negative views as a purifying experience which has ultimately done them some good.

Some of the concepts by which some people are united in marriage might come into the category of binding concepts, imposing a negating obligation on each person. Marriages contracted under rules and customs of different religious groups, where roles and responsibilities differ from those otherwise held in society, might therefore come under threat from a change in the person's ability to accept some binding contract requiring that person to negate normally held views.

For example, if a strict Roman Catholic couple felt their marriage was valid only if no contraceptive technique were used, then stress breakdown symptoms in the wife might cause her to reject this view; because the validity of the marriage rested on that view, she might reject the marriage as well.

Some fundamentalist Protestant sects do not encourage women in further education. If an intelligent woman in such a marriage, experiencing stress breakdown symptoms, began to doubt the wisdom of such a belief, she might let the marriage go as well, if the husband strenuously insisted that she could not educate herself while she stayed married to him.

Or a couple might have been married with the resultant union having the effect of uniting the collective hatreds of two families of bigots. A stress breakdown affecting the husband's 0r wife's ability to hold such bigoted views might put him or her at odds with the entire clan, forcing an end to the marriage. Such happenings are not unheard of.

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