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STRESS AND MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN: FIRST-AID TO STRESSED MARRIAGES

I would offer the following advice to people who feel that their marriages are under threat from stress breakdown:

Consider the diagnosis. If the problem is stress breakdown and you are both trying to sort your problems out with psychotherapy, forget your therapy until you are both rested and feeling well. You need rest, relief from stress and increased sleep, both of you.

Don't make wrong assumptions, particularly about the meaning of a lack of interest in your sex life. It all comes back when stress breakdown symptoms are relieved.

Begin adopting a lower-stress lifestyle straight away, including strict rest for one day a week and frequent breaks during your busy day. Get away from the telephone at the weekend.

Don't do anything unusual or make any major decisions while you are under stress. You may not be able to plan things well because of stress breakdown. You're not likely to be able to make decisions about separation or divorce.

Don't think divorce is any solution at all. While it promises some freedom and peace and quiet in bed for a change, divorce leads to stressful loneliness. Statistics show that the chances of the second marriage breaking down are much the same as for your first marriage. This indicates that it is well worth the effort working to prevent breakdown of your current relationship.

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